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Saturday, February 22, 2025 (post)
tw: we’re gonna be talking a lot about transphobia. government transphobia, specifically. also a lot of sexual things in relation to that, as well as other very harrowing adult topics. not for kids!
i wanna make more content for the site. i really do. i haven’t abandoned it. i am working on things! it’s just… there was a big review thing i wanted to do for the site, but i realized there were a bunch of things talking about it already on youtube. it made me think not that this place is worthless as a storage place for my creative output, but that it’s only really productive for me to talk about media i can give a unique perspective on.
i have been doing a lot of art recently, and i might post some of the backlog later on. maybe since i haven’t put any art on the site since its launch, it might be easier for me to put up art in bulk bunches at the end of every month or something.
since starting the site in october, i’ve been a bit hesitant to post anything about the uncomfortable reality of being a trans person in america right now. but since my transition has been in full swing recently, it’s been… most of what i think about. as such, it’s what a lot of my art and life experience has been about!
it’s not like it’s all i’ve been drawing, though. some birds here, some doodles on my friend’s cardboard box there, but… i’m not the biggest fan of this country right now. and neither are a lot of my friends, because a lot of my friends are trans as well! and our way of coping with that, as well as our escape from that, has been tabletop rpg.
even though that’s been a lot of my prior engagements, like i’ve said, i’ve also been making a lot of progress in terms of my transition in spite of dipshit 1 getting elected and dipshit 2 marie-kondo-ing america until it’s nothing but walls, a ceiling, and a paper plate of chex mix that we have to sit on the floor to eat. make america great again by firing all the national park workers and air traffic control staff!
so… yes, i’ve been lazy and i’ve been playing a lot of video games, and i’ve been doing a lot more of that than writing notes for potential big toni.zone projects. (even if i’ve been doing a lot of that too!) all in all, 2025 has just been sort of a hellish year for trans people as a whole, and it’s been quite stressful for me, wondering just how much of my transition i can realistically accomplish before dipshit 1 and dipshit 2 make it unfathomably difficult. i would say “sometimes i need a break,” but i need any fucking break i can catch.
i don’t wanna get into the weeds of it here, but… to massively oversimplify, not all trans people want to medically transition. or, to make it simpler for the uninitiated, they don’t want to have the surgery. and out of the ones who do want it, only a tiny sliver of them could ever really afford it due to the crisis situation we’ve found ourselves in throughout this whole decade.
that’s why i was against the previous legislation stating that sex markers on federal identification (your passport) can only be changed in the event of a sex change. i can understand it to a degree, sex is different than gender, after all–even though 99% of republicans don’t see it that way–but it’s transphobic, ignorant and classist.
although this isn’t the case for all trans people, and i still stand overwhelmingly against this line of thinking being adopted at the federal level, i am personally comfortable saying that my sex differs from my gender. at least… i was never uncomfortable enough with it to make a fuss about it.
since dipshit 1passed a record number of executive orders on his first day, though… things have gotten much worse. now, sex markers on federal identification can be changed in the event of… nothing! ever! they want to keep men out of the women’s bathroom, but people who are clearly women, regardless of whether or not they have a vagina, now have to go through the tsa scanner with an “m” on their passport, as well as the other way around.
if you’ve been through tsa more than one time in the last 23 years, you’d know how ridiculous the excuses can get and how much trouble it can result in regardless of your personal privilege. this is going to make everything so much worse.
and of course, right now i’m only mentioning the things that i think would make a reasonable, supportive cis person a bit peeved, which is just the tip of the iceberg. our identity was removed from the government information site for queer travel challenges. transgender athletes–who have zero biological advantages given the already very strict rules in place regarding them–can no longer compete in college sports.
we were even removed from the stonewall national monument information website, which i think makes me the most angry. stonewall was a riot, it would not have happened without trans and intersex people, and they’re gentrifying it in front of our eyes. they’re erasing history and replacing it with their own.
the reason queer people were ever recognized by the government, the reason same sex marriage was ever legalized in the first place, was because of our trans elders. it could not have been accomplished without beautiful transgender people like marsha p. johnson and sylvia rivera, both of whom were sadly taken from us far before their time.
they did not sit around and wait for this to happen. they resisted, fought like hell, got arrested, got hurt, died, made everything uncomfortable for the capitalist machine, ground everything to a halt so they wouldn’t be erased, and the reward was our first little sliver of liberation. and now it’s being put in jeopardy without a second thought.
it can be hard for people who don’t have to endure this to see the importance of these people. they were educated to believe that all the protests that ever advanced us past slavery and rockefeller were peaceful demonstrations. but if someone in a uniform with authority tries to pick a fight, the truth is you’re either going to fight back or your movement will not progress.
i cannot see anything but a hero in those who have historically fought back for our right to be recognized, and i cannot see anything but a villain in those trying to erase their existence from history, and thus, ours. i haven’t heard a convincing argument yet to deter me from the thought that this form of erasure is the only reason our rights were ever threatened to begin with.
there’s a lot i have to do for the website. my form is always gonna change. my hair, my body, my interests… they’re all gonna change. and i wanna keep the site up to date with my identity… but there are things more important than this site right now.